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Team Happinest

Embracing Your Feeding Journey: Overcoming Breastfeeding Guilt


Bottle fed baby

As we celebrate Breastfeeding Awareness month, it's important to address a topic that often goes unspoken: breastfeeding guilt. Many new mothers face immense pressure to breastfeed exclusively, sometimes leading to feelings of guilt and inadequacy when breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned. The "Fed is Best" philosophy supports all mothers, emphasising that the most important thing is that the baby is fed, whether by breast milk, formula, or a combination of both.


At HappiNest, we are committed to supporting the mental health of new parents and soon-to-be mothers, and we believe it's crucial to explore the emotions surrounding breastfeeding guilt and the inclusive message of "Fed is Best."


The Pressure to Breastfeed: A Double-Edged Sword

Most people believe that breastfeeding should come naturally and easily to all mothers, but unfortunately, that’s not always true. According to the CDC, while about 83% of mothers start breastfeeding, around 60% stop earlier than planned due to various challenges. Common issues include latching problems, pain, and concerns about milk supply. Such difficulties can lead to breastfeeding guilt, which often stems from:


  • Physical Challenges: Issues such as latching difficulties, low milk supply, and painful breastfeeding can make the experience stressful and disheartening.

  • Societal Expectations: Cultural and societal norms often portray breastfeeding as the only acceptable way to feed a baby, leading to judgment and criticism of mothers who use formula.

  • Internal Expectations: Many mothers set high expectations for themselves, feeling that they must exclusively breastfeed to be good mothers, which can lead to feelings of failure when challenges arise.

The "Fed is Best" Philosophy: A Compassionate Approach

Supporting the "Fed is Best" philosophy means prioritizing the well-being of both mother and baby, with the main goal being that the baby is fed, healthy, and thriving, no matter the feeding method. This approach emphasizes that a mother's mental and physical health is as crucial as the baby's nutrition, as stress about breastfeeding can impact both. It encourages informed choices based on individual circumstances and promotes understanding of both breastfeeding and alternative methods. Importantly, it advocates for a non-judgmental, supportive environment where all feeding choices are respected.


Addressing Breastfeeding Guilt: Strategies for New Mothers

  1. Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive people who understand and respect your feeding choices. This can include family, friends, healthcare providers, and support groups.

  2. Educate Yourself: Learn about the different feeding options and the potential challenges and benefits of each. Being informed can help you make the best decision for you and your baby.

  3. Prioritise Your Well-Being: Remember that your mental and physical health are crucial. If breastfeeding is causing significant stress or pain, it's okay to consider other options.

  4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you are doing your best. Parenting is a journey filled with different choices and paths, and there is no one "right" way to feed your baby.

  5. Communicate with Your Partner: Open communication with your partner about your feelings and challenges can help you feel supported and understood.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Breastfeeding guilt is a common yet often unspoken issue that many new mothers face. Embracing the "Fed is Best" philosophy offers a compassionate and inclusive approach, emphasizing that the health and happiness of both mother and baby are paramount. At HappiNest, we stand by this message, advocating for informed choices, support, and understanding for all parents.


As we celebrate Breastfeeding Awareness month, let's remember that every mother’s journey is unique. The most important thing is that your baby is fed and loved, and you are supported and cared for. Together, we can create a community where all feeding choices are respected, and every mother feels confident and supported in her journey.


Curious about how breastfeeding impacts maternal mental health? Dive into our expert session here.


If you are struggling and need support, book your first free consultation here.

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